In the Name of Allah (SWT), the Entirely Merciful, the Especially Merciful ______________ chasing Jannah – My Intention It’s been three years, almost four, since Yaseen passed away, and my journey of chasing Jannah has seen many highs and also some lows. But through it all, Allah SWT has never left me on my own. […]

If I had to summarize what Saturday, 1 January 2022, felt like, I would say: “Never in my life did I feel so helpless, as I did on that day. But never in my life did I receive help, like I did on that day. When I could find no strength of my own to

The Donors… Yaseen’s white blood cells – his fighter cells – needed a boost. Our doctor had tried the conventional treatments to fight Yaseen’s infection, and he was now considering the less conventional. He proposed that we do a white blood cell transplant in the hope that this would boost Yaseen’s immune system. Since it

No calamity strikes, except by the permission of Allah (SWT). And whoever has faith in Allah SWT, He will guide their hearts ~ Qur’an 64:11 These are the deeply painful memories of my heart and soul. And a part of me doesn’t want to think about it, and even less write about it. But I

There once was a pious man who wished to propose to a woman in a village. So he requested a friend of his to take the proposal to the lady on his behalf. He waited for his friend to bring back an answer, and finally, his friend did return. But what had unfolded was something

This blogpost is a little different from the previous posts. It’s a story of two separate tales – Yaseen’s and mine – joined by one common theme. By the grace of Allah SWT, Yaseen has served as my motivation. And I hope, by His grace, that by the time you read the last line of

‘Put your feet into the footsteps of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW).’ _ _ _ It was the second week of October, and it brought with it a surprise…thankfully a good one. The phone rang and I was a little surprised to see a video call from Mujeeb. He was sitting outside in the courtyard near

Yaseen had faced every medical crisis on his own, but the news of his kidneys failing, that was too much to bear alone. He was in need of some positive reinforcement. So he asked that one parent visit with him, inside the hospital room. After some deliberation and for various reasons, we decided that Mujeeb

“Allahu Musta’an“. When your world is crumbling around you, remember these words. Yaqoob AS said these words when he heard the worst of news. And what followed next, for us, was going to be the worst of news. It was two days after Yaseen was discharged, and we were back at hospital. He was spiking

The journey that came next was truly hard for us, and these blog posts were extremely difficult to write. Again, I can’t do justice capturing Yaseen’s struggle, or our emotions experiencing it. Trying to make my mind remember these moments, I force it to travel to a dark place. So, before I journey into dark

29 June 2021…Bone Marrow Transplant, Day 1. Yaseen, Mujeeb and I sat in the reception area of the Bone Marrow Transplant Unit (BMTU), waiting for a nurse to usher Yaseen in. I can’t remember what I told him, but I imagine it must have been some words of encouragement. And that I loved him. I

If a test comes your way, it’s meant to change you. That’s what I believe. There was a version of me who existed before the test – before cancer came and stole my peace of mind – and there was a different version of me who exited the test on the other side. Most surely

It was 2010 and I was in my cabin on a cruise ship with the boys. Yaseen was around eight years old and Waseem around six, and both were extremely excited to be on such an adventure. I was excited too, but a little more wary, wondering how good an idea it was to be

If I ask you: “Will you thank Allah, the One who deserves all praise, when things are good?”. You’ll say: “Yes. of course”. And if I ask you: “Will you thank Him when things are bad, so terribly bad, that it hurts?”. Will you then say: “Yes”? “Of course”? It had been months of facing

“It is not the eyes that are blind, but the hearts within the chest that are blind” – Qur’an 22:46. The days were hard. We had met with the haematologist assigned to handle Yaseen’s treatment, and it seemed like history was repeating itself. Once again, Mujeeb liked the doctor, and once again, I felt some

Never mind my chemotherapy plans of ‘just do it, get done with it and move on’. Allah SWT is Al-Lateef {Subtle and Kind} and Al-Lateef was about to derail my plans, send me on a detour, and teach me a valuable life lesson in the process. Subtly. Yaseen’s treatment started with a milder form of

What do you do when you hear that your child has cancer? Reflect on this for a few seconds. What do you do? Yaseen and I were sitting in the reception area of the doctor’s rooms while Mujeeb was trying to secure a parking spot. Sitting in the room of an oncologist, a cancer doctor,

I’m going to take you back to a day that I found to be significant. It was nearing the end of August and the day, surprisingly, was sunny and beautiful. A sharp contrast to my anxious mood as I made my way to the doctor’s office to hear the results of Yaseen’s biopsy. Place your

I believe in Allah (SWT). I believe in His Angels, His Books, His Messengers, and the Last Day (of Judgement). And I believe in Divine Decree – that the good and bad of it is from Allah SWT. This is important, because as a Muslim, I have to believe this. But it is also important

This is a blog I can’t possibly do justice to. Ask any parent who has lost a child to explain who exactly their child was, and I can’t imagine a single parent being able to. It seems like an injustice to even try and summarize the life that was Yaseen. Yet I feel it would