This blogpost is a little different from the previous posts. It’s a story of two separate tales – Yaseen’s and mine – joined by one common theme.
By the grace of Allah SWT, Yaseen has served as my motivation. And I hope, by His grace, that by the time you read the last line of this blogpost, I will serve as yours.
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Yaseen’s story…
“The example of a believer is that of a fresh, green plant, the leaves of which move in whatever direction the wind forces them to move, but when the winds calm down, it stands straight. Such is the similarity of the believer: he is disturbed by trials (but like the fresh plant, he regains his normal state soon) …” – Prophet Muhammad (SAW)
The wind had died down and we could stand up straight again. Ease. On 15 October, one day before his birthday, our doctor confirmed that Yaseen could go home.
I stood at the doors of the BMTU, once again with my camera in my hand, capturing the moment. But this time, Yaseen wasn’t walking out on his own, he was physically too weak. Instead, he was being pushed out in a wheelchair by his dad.
Still, we were grateful. I felt as though Allah SWT had gifted me with my son for the second time since the day he was born.
As Mujeeb wheeled him out through the doors of the BMTU, I told myself that we were done with that place. And I was adamant that we would never, ever, return!
After his discharge, Yaseen was intent on living his life, and I could understand why. When you face your mortality over and over again, you realize that every moment you have been gifted with on this earth should be appreciated. In short…nothing makes you appreciate life, quite as much as death.
Yaseen came home and the very next day the celebrations began. As far as birthday celebrations went, it wasn’t the biggest one (thanks largely to Covid), but this birthday held more significance than almost any other birthday before.
That day, Yaseen was all dressed up in a new tracksuit in his favourite colour blue, a birthday gift from his dad. He was out of hospital and far removed from a hospital bed and hospital gown, at home and surrounded by his loved ones. He was smiling, and we were smiling even more, ever grateful for the blessing of having him turn twenty years old in our midst.
From then on, in spite of my warnings about Covid, Yaseen simply chose to live his life. He attended our big Sunday night family suppers (with all of the 28 family members being in attendance), visited his friends and gamed with them in person instead of online, went on outings with his brother and cousins, started dabbling in sports again, and he bought take-out more times than I cared for.
Also, for good measure, he insisted on attending a family wedding despite me trying to convince him not to. His compromised immune system and the word “Covid!” did nothing to deter him.
Wearing a mask and a clear face shield, and sitting in a wheelchair, he made his appearance at the wedding. Yaseen smiled, took plenty of photos and responded to the questions he was asked in his signature way (he had this habit of putting his hand on his heart, bowing his head down slightly and smiling as he answered). And then, to my enormous relief, he left early for home, exhausted.
Little by little, his appetite began to return, and he started putting on some of the weight he had lost. Yaseen was starting to resemble Yaseen again, and he was becoming physically stronger, day by day.
I started to think about Yaseen being able to return to campus in a few months. But as it turned out, Yaseen had other plans. Somewhere along his cancer journey, the dreams he had of his future had changed.
When facing circumstances fueled by hardship and desperation, some people choose a path closer to Allah SWT, some choose to remain the same and some choose to move away from Him. Yaseen had made his choice.
Just a few days after making his intention to perform Hajj, Yaseen decided that he wanted to pursue a higher education in Islamic studies.
I wasn’t expecting this. Thinking back to the days when Yaseen and Waseem were younger and I had to check up on them, asking like an army drill-sergeant: ‘Did you make salaah?’ ‘Did you read Qur’an today?’ And incredulously asking: ‘How did you manage to make your salaah sooo quickly’? So, for me, this decision of his was certainly a surprise.
Day after day of being in hospital and with Yaseen isolated from me so much of the time, it was difficult for me to understand how his relationship with Allah SWT was unfolding during that time. But I do recall this one specific incident which he mentioned…
Yaseen spoke about a particular evening in hospital when he was experiencing a lot of health challenges and difficulties. I think he mentioned it was around 2.00 ‘o clock in the morning, and he had made a dua to Allah SWT (although I can’t recall what exactly he had said in his prayer). But I recall him mentioning that after he prayed, he had suffered a severe nosebleed, and later that morning when he woke up, he had felt better.
What I took from this is that in a moment of difficulty, he had called upon Allah SWT, and Allah SWT had responded. That’s how I interpreted it.
But now, reflecting back on that moment when Yaseen broke the news of wanting to pursue Islamic studies, I realize that Allah SWT hadn’t merely responded to him. Allah SWT had also chosen him.
As a student, Yaseen had been chosen to embrace a path where the angels would surround him, the path to Jannah would be made easy for him, and Allah SWT would mention him to those who are near to Him.
While most people would be allowed to chase the bounties of this world, he was motivated to chase something else, something everlasting. He would be chasing Jannah.
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A message of motivation, from me to you…
‘When the victory of Allah SWT has come, and the conquest (of Makkah), And you (O Prophet) see the people entering into the religion of Allah SWT in crowds, then glorify the praises of your Lord and seek His forgiveness. Indeed, He is ever Accepting of Repentance. [Surah Nasr, translated]
When Umar (RA) asked some senior companions about this surah, they said: `We were commanded to praise Allah and seek His forgiveness when He helps us and gives us victory.’
But Ibn Abbas (RA), who was a young man at that time, had a different answer. Ibn Abbas (who was known as ‘the ocean’, having knowledge that was vast and deep), responded that this surah actually foretold of the Prophet Muhammad’s (SAW) passing away.
“When the help of Allah SWT comes and the conquest (of Makkah)’, that would be a sign that the end of the Prophet Muhammad’s (SAW) life was approaching. ‘So, glorify the praises of your Lord, and ask His forgiveness. Indeed, He is the One Who accepts repentance and Who forgives.’
When Umar heard the response from Ibn Abbas, Umar agreed with him. [See related hadith by Bukhari]
Being a new student myself, only just starting off my journey of learning, this hadith showed me how even seniority, rank and age has to bend the knee to knowledge.
And as I’m sitting and learning more, like about the important reminder that the Prophet (SAW) kept on repeating for us on his deathbed, I’m realizing how little I actually know.
If Ibn Abbas (RA) was known as ‘the ocean’, then I see myself more like the puddle of water on the shore, left behind by a wave. I still need to immerse myself into the sea and learn to swim. And then snorkel. And then dive.
But still, I’m ever grateful that my journey of chasing Jannah has begun.
So, if you happen to find that you’re content to just stare at the ocean (of knowledge), but not put your feet in, then I can’t say it more truthfully than Allah SWT says it:
The rivalry for piling up (the good things of this world), diverts you (from the more serious things). [Qur’an 102:1, translated]